So, you’re ready for a life change…
Maybe you have spent the last few months thinking that the start of the new year will bring a “new you” and you really desire a change; with that thought you have officially created a New Year’s Resolution.
Social media outlets have been bombarding us with statistics of how 80% of resolutions fail while professing we start right now because motivation will be gone by January 1st. Now you feel confused and overwhelmed which allows the self-doubt to seep in and you question whether you should even start.
All of these feelings are normal, so close your eyes and I want you to take a deep breath in and then slowly exhale out. Great, now I want to congratulate you! You contemplated change and created a goal; this is exactly where you want to start. If starting January 1st gives you the motivation to catapult your goal into fruition, then that is ok! If you want to start today, that’s great as well!
How do you become successful at reaching your goal?
- Those who succeed at keeping their resolutions going and remain consistent are the people who lead with self-compassion and build a circle of support. Behavior change is possible; it’s the new habits you form that will lead you to succeed with your goals. Whether you want to lose weight, eat healthier, run a marathon, or meditate daily… these goals require behavior change.
How do you change behavior?
- By adopting new habits
- Learn how to give yourself a little grace.
So how do you begin changing your habits?
First of all, I want you to ask yourself WHY you decided on the resolution that you created?
- What is the driving factor behind wanting to lose weight? WHY do you want to run that marathon or WHY do you want to scroll social media less?
Now I want you to look at those goals and ask yourself if you are leading with Self-Compassion?
- If you want to lose weight because you hate how you look in a swimsuit, You want to run a marathon because you think you are lazy, You want to eat healthier because you have no self-control around food… let’s re-word those goals.
-I want to lose weight because I want to feel more comfortable in my clothing.
-I want to lose weight because I want to play with my children and not be tired.
– I want to run a marathon because I want to move more often and challenge my body.
-I want to eat healthier because I want to fuel my body while enjoying what I eat.
- If you meet yourself with guilt, shame and hate then your goals will suffer. Looking at your resolution with hope and feeling excited about self-growth will set you up for success. At the end of your New Year’s Resolution, I want you to try adding…
–This year I want to (Insert Resolution), as well as talk to myself with self-compassion.
You may be asking, what exactly is Self-Compassion?
Did you know that Dopamine (The Pleasure Hormone) increases when talking negatively to yourself? This is how the formation of negative self-talk becomes a habit.
Self-Compassion is not constantly letting yourself have a free pass for behavior that does not serve you well. It is about counteracting the shame and judgement we place on ourselves during times of struggle and suffering. Maybe talking to yourself positively sounds silly but tell me, when is the last time that you failed at a project or made a mistake and talking to yourself negatively helped the situation. I guarantee it didn’t. This life comes with many struggles and setbacks; why not be the encouragement we need for ourselves in those moments, why not learn how to show up for ourselves and gain more self confidence in the process.
What if I can’t do this alone?
Your next step in being successful with your goals is to create a circle of support. Developing new habits and learning to be consistent with them is no easy feat. Having a circle of support is going to be crucial. That could mean:
- Joining a running group or having a running/gym buddy.
- Are there cooking classes that are local where people are all learning how to make healthy meals?
- Attend workout classes for motivation and support
- Maybe you have no idea what to do or where to start so you hire a coach to help you build a plan and have an accountability partner.
These are great places to start to help you become successful at reaching the goals you set for yourself.
Follow us on Instagram and Facebook as we will be focusing this week on habit formation, behavior change and growing with self-compassion.